Well... it happened. The thing I knew I would never be able to do. The thing I tried not to think about because it saddened me the most. My baby fell asleep in the car and I was not able to carry her into the house.
Kiana fell asleep in the 3 minutes it takes to drive home from the baby-sitters. She was so peaceful. So sound asleep. But I had to wake her and make her walk into the house on her own. And it made me sad. She didn’t seem to mind, didn’t seem to be affected by it. She fussed a little when I pulled her out of the carseat, but then she walked/stumbled into the house half asleep, asked for milk, and then cuddled with me on the bed.
I don’t know why not being able to carry a sleeping baby or child in from the car is so upsetting to me, because she’s never going tro know the difference. But I guess it’s because I remember my parents carrying me in from the car and placing me in my bed after I had fallen asleep on the car ride home. A few years ago I watched the movie “Things We Lost in the Fire” and the only reason that movie was memorable to me is because there was a scene where the father carried his sleeping child in from the car and I remember thinking that I would never be able to do that.
If the stroller had been easily accessible today I would have tried to lay her in it and wheel her in the house. But, it wasn’t. Oh, well. I’m going to end this post. Kiana got her nap today and was unfazed by being woken up in the car. It was just a sad moment for me.
Wow. You don't know me, but I found your blog through the National Parenting with a Disability Blog, and I can't tell you how much I resonate with what you've written here. I'm a young, married mother with CP as well, and our first son is 6 months old. It is so good to have my fears put into words by someone else, so thank you for being so open with your pain.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to follow your blog if you don't mind. Knowing I'm not alone is a good thing. :) May God bless you as you continue through this journey.