Plan?

My mom asked me a couple of months ago what my plan was after Baby was born, in terms of caring for him, going back to work, etc.,  My response: I have no clue! and I don’t even want to think about it or try to figure it out because the thought of it creates too much anxiety.  I just have peace and am putting my total trust in God that it will all work out, and am praying a lot.  He has a plan.  I have no plan.  I had no plan or clue how it would work out when I had Kiana either, but it did.  With Kiana I had the support and help of a church body and also found wonderful people who were willing to come into my home to assist me while my husband was at work.  This time around I don’t have the support of a church, and I don’t think I want to go through the headache of finding reliable people to come into my home, nor do I have the money.  Yet, I’m going to need help... I think.  

You would think that because this is my second I might have this figured out a little more, but I don’t.  I have no clue how I’m going to care for an infant.  I wasn’t able to care for Kiana on my own until she was 7 months, once she was able to crawl which thankfully was at an early age of 5 months.  

I also do not believe in putting my baby in full-time child care for someone else to care for. Even now I only work part-time and have Kiana in part-time childcare because I think it is important for me to be home with her. I could not be the mom I want to be in terms of time and energy if I worked 40 hours a week.   But even if I wanted to have my baby in childcare, I couldn’t because I can not get a baby in and out of the car until they are able to walk.  

It’s in God’s hands.  He has a perfect plan.  And my mom with be here for at least the first 6 weeks.  I am thankful for that.