Monday, June 20, 2016


Yes, I got Botox.  But no, not as a beautifying treatment to get rid of wrinkles.  :)  I got Botox in my foot and calf.  Now I have a young looking foot, right?  LOL.  No.  It's amazing what they use Botox for these days: muscular disorders, excessive sweating, to treat chronic migraine headaches, etc.  I got it to relax my toes on my right foot so they don't curl so tightly when I walk. They curl more when I'm nervous, and it makes it difficult to walk or stand with curled toes.

I got 2 injections in my calf and 2 in the bottom of my foot.  There was no pain when injecting into my  calf, but the bottom of my foot was very painful, and it wasn't a "quick shot" sort of pain.  But once it was over with there was no pain.  It took 3-4 days to notice a difference.  My toes are definitely more relaxed.   I can still curl them, but they no longer curl up when I walk.  And it does make it easier to walk.  I took Kiana to the doctor today for an ear infection and I barely needed her assistance in the parking lot, just a light touch, and inside I was walking on my own.  While standing at the counter I was relaxed, my toes were relaxed, and I didn't feel off balance.  It's supposed to last 3 months. 

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Strictly medical

Over a year ago, January 2015, I made up my mind that it was time to really do something about my walking.  It had gotten so bad that even at home I felt off balance and like I was going to fall down.  It had started 5 years prior and was getting worse, and I was really getting depressed about it.  It was time I take action.   (See previous blog posts "dentist""Walking"  and "Fear of Concrete" for more.)  I no longer had the balance or the confidence.

I started by seeing my primary care physician.  I discussed with her how I thought part of it was mental and part was physical.  She prescribed me an anti-anxiety medication and referred me to physical therapy.  For 3 months I saw my physical therapist and religiously did my exercises daily.  I felt myself getting stronger.  But it didn't do the trick.  So I asked my  PCP to refer me to a doctor who specializes in cerebral palsy to find out if there were any new advancements in treating cerebral palsy.  I mean, I hadn't seen a doctor regarding my c.p. since I was 19 years old.  My doctor referred me to a Neurologist and a Physiatrist (rehab doctor).

Both doctors were very positive that I would walk again without assistance and presented me with different options, sure something would work for me.  It was such a positive thing for me to hear.  That I could get better.  I started taking Baclofen, a muscle relaxant, commonly used for spasticity in cerebral palsy and multiple sclerosis  patients.  It helped tremendously!  I was walking with ease again at home.  But it wasn't the cure, because I still had this mental portion of it that when out in public and in parking lots I still froze up.  So I started seeing a mental health professional about the anxiety medication I was on, wanting to either adjust the dosage or try something different.

It's been over a year now and I've tried 3 different medications for anxiety.  The upside to the anxiety meds is that they have helped with my OCD, other anxieties, and I am no longer depressed about my walking, but it has not quite helped with the anxiety/fear of concrete/anxiety of falling in public.    So I have decided to go back to the Physiatrist to try Botox treatment to relax my muscles in my toes.

My doctor thinks I would greatly benefit from a Baclofen pump.  It's much more effective than taking Baclofen orally, the dosage is significantly less, micrograms rather than milligrams, and  you don't get the drowsiness side-affect.  But the idea of having a pump the size of a hockey puck surgically implanted under my skin in my abdomen with a catheter running around to my spine to administer medication directly into my spinal fluid gives me the creeps.  *shiver*

So, if the Botox does not work to where I am completely walking independently, then I have come to the realization that I am going to just have to suck up my pride and accept the fact that at 37 years old I may need to get myself a walker to use in certain situations.  I am finally at peace with that idea.