Thursday, February 24, 2011

I'm a mom!

A couple of months ago I was at a resort having Sunday Brunch with my husband, daughter, and my parents. My husband was going through the buffet with me while Kiana was at the table with Grandma and Grandpa when my previous boss’s wife came up to me. I hadn’t seen her in four years, so it was one of those surprise encounters of “Hi. Wow. How are you? What have you been up to?” And I was so proud and excited to tell her that I was now a mom. I didn’t even care to mention about my job.

My ex-boss’s wife was happy for me. I had talked to her about wanting children 4 years ago so she had already asked the questions: “can you have a baby? will he/she be disabled?” etc., etc. But I knew she would probably go back to her husband and tell him that I was a mother and I’m guessing his reaction was shock. And I knew he would tell my ex-coworker that I was a mom. My ex-coworker is a mother as well, but I always got the vibe from her that she had an I’m-better-than-you, younger-than-you, don’t-need-a-college-education-to-make-more-money-than-you attitude. When we first moved here I was shocked at how many jobs a husband and wife had between them to raise a family. It is like 3 or 4. I’m thankful we have been able to continue to live here on 1 and ½ incomes. I’m so happy and proud to be Kiana’s mother. I’m proud that as a family living in a very expensive State that we sacrifice luxuries to put family first and that I only need to work part-time and am able to be home to raise my daughter. Aside from my relationship with Jesus, my family is the most important thing to me. So I’m proud that I didn’t feel like I needed to mention that I worked part-time because the fact that I was a mom was all that she needed to know. (So ha! I’m a mother too, but I stay home! (yes, that’s the evil side of me coming out.))

I had a woman a few months ago ask me if I lived on my own. When I said yes, and that I was married she was shocked. I decided it might be too much for her to take to mention that I was pregnant too. I’m a lot more capable in the comfort of my own home than I appear to be out in public. As a child I learned to ignore and not to be bothered by the stares and looks I get from others. But sometimes they do make me nervous and when I feel like someone is watching me, I start to tense up and shake and become less able of doing the task, making me appear to be even more disabled.

It is interesting the different reactions I get from people when I tell them that I’m a mother...or that I’m married, or have a college degree, or drive a car. Even from family and friends whom have known me for years. When people found out I was pregnant they had so many questions.

I didn’t have the answers as to how I was/am going to raise a child, but I knew/know that if God was going to bless me with a child that He knew I was capable, and that gives me peace. God does not give you more than you can handle (without Him). “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).

Sometimes I just like the shock factor.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

February 19, 2011

Just another day...

I wanted this post to be about my pregnancy or labor and delivery, which is why I haven’t posted in awhile. I’ve been putting it off. It seems too daunting of a task. I’ll get around to it soon. But in a nutshell: my pregnancy- normal; labor and delivery- FAST, no drugs, natural, normal. “Normal” meaning that my disability did not affect my pregnancy or ability to deliver naturally.

I’ve started writing a post on pregnancy but the words just are not flowing. But I wanted to post something today... anything.

It’s a Saturday and I’m ready to face the day with my knee pads on and a thermos full of coffee. :)

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

15 months

My baby is now 15 months. Wow! Where has the time gone? She is getting easier to take care of, physically, for me. She understands a lot more of what I say, she’s able to communicate to me more, both in words and sign, and she is more capable of helping me.

Kiana is now practically dressing herself. She knows the process of putting on a shirt and shorts and puts her arms through the arm holes herself.

I still need to give her a toy to keep her busy during diaper changes, but most of the time she stays still. Sometimes, now, when I say “diaper change” she’ll run over and pull out the diaper changing pad for me.

The other day when I was getting the milk carton out of the fridge I realized it was too heavy for me and had to set it on the floor. Kiana came over, picked it up and tried to set it on the counter for me but it was too high. What a little helper.

There are new challenges though. Like trying to race her to the bathroom and get the door shut before she comes in with me and pulls all the toilet paper off the roll. She’s fast.

Kiana is an energetic little toddler, but she is very patient with me. We are beginning to adjust to my husband’s new work schedule and classes. Her and I are home alone more, with my husband schedule including working a couple of nights a week and in classes every other weekend. (She is only in childcare 3 days a week which is wonderful.) Fixing dinner with a toddler is interesting, but thankfully she does well at entertaining herself and is very independent (no t.v. in this house).

We have fun together and continue to learn from each other every day. She is such a blessing to our lives.