Thursday, June 28, 2012
Just say’n
I’ve had able-bodied people make comments to me, and I’ve heard able-bodied people make comments about other disabled people that makes it sound like they feel sorry for “us”. And I just want to say, please don’t. I’ve heard people make comments like, I’m sorry you were born like that, or that poor lady, or he looks like he’s suffering, or that’s so sad, You may think you are being kind or showing sympathy by saying things like these, but honestly, to me, whether it is directed to me or about another person, comments like these hurt. I didn’t ask for your pity. I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. Just because I walk differently, or have to use a cane, or appear as if things are difficult for me doesn’t mean I am suffering. I’d rather you see me as a strong woman, a fighter, a person whom has overcome challenges. I may not move as easily as you, or do things the same way as you do, but I have learned my own way of doing thing that make it easier for me. I am not suffering. If it does look like I am struggling I do appreciate your kind offer of assistance. But please do not feel sorry for me.
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Hi Heather,
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to let you know that I've enjoyed reading your blog. I am a new mom who has had arthritis since I was 6 yrs old. I've practically always had it and don't know a life without it. I feel the same way when others feel sorry for me because I don't need it. I just pride myself on being more adaptable than others!
People should also know that, sometimes I have a really bad day and do feel down and the last thing I need is their pity. I need the reminder that I am strong, I can do anything I want in my own way.
Please keep posting! I love to hear that your daughter is so independent and caring. I hope my 5 month old will be too:).
Caroline
Hi loving your work, great read. I am a mum who has had arthritis since 15 months old and I blog about how to independently parent using just normal baby care equipment, from the lightest buggy as some are killers to try and lift in a car! To where to buy Velcro baby suits as I struggled so much with poppers, total nightmare. You sound like you will have a lot of experience to pass my way as my son is only 19 mths old and still not up for walking ughhhh! When did your children walk?
ReplyDeleteOoh spooky lady above me is also called Caroline, nice to meet you too Caroline and yes I am a Caroline as well. Will regularly check back on this blog but how did you also manage the toddling stage, you know when they want to walk off on own, did you use reigns etc?
I may write a blog for disabled parents with ideas but heck only a first time mum and am learning a bit ad hoc here!
Great blog x
Caroline, My daughter started walking at 10 months. I too was nervous about her just wandering off and not being able to keep up with her. Thankfully she has always been a good listener, and it also helped to put gates up around the house so I could keep her to a specific area.
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