Having Another :)

We have always wanted to be a family of 4.  Yes, there are some days when I questioned this but we really wanted a second.   When family and friends have asked if we wanted another and we’ve said yes we have gotten mixed reactions:  “you know the 2nd is always the hardest”;  “Kiana’s so easy, your 2nd is going to be the opposite”;  “will you adopt?”;  “you know 2 children are so much more work”  etc., etc.   Yes, it will be more work.  Even though I’ve already had one and know what to expect this time I still feel clueless as to how I’m going to do it.  How I’m going to care for a newborn?  How I’m going to handle two?  But once again, I feel peace.  Peace knowing God is there, God will help me, God has it under control, and God will not give me more than I can’t handle.  And the thing is... children grow up, become independent.  I just have to make it through the first year.  That is when I need the most help.  And what’s a year?  What’s 7 years?  By the age of, say 7, they can do most things their-self, they are in school, and they are way more independent than the toddler years.  It’s not like they stay babies or toddlers forever.  I just have  to make it through the most physically challenging years for me.  

I had a normal pregnancy with Kiana so I’m not concerned about that either.  Even non-disabled woman have difficult first pregnancies yet still decided to have 2 or 3 more, but mine wasn’t difficult.  I enjoyed being pregnant.  It was such an awesome experience.  Although, I must admit that going through pregnancy this time around isn’t as exciting as it was the first time simply because it was such a new experience the first time.  This time around, although I realize all pregnancies can be different, I feel like “been there, done that”.  That’s not to say though that I’m not equally  as excited about a baby.  I’m overjoyed to be pregnant and have a baby on the way.   I’m just saying that the physical aspect of being pregnant is no longer a new experience.  

Our life is crazy this year and we may be nuts for deciding to get pregnant in the midst of it, but then I remind myself, it’s just this year, and that Baby will be born next year when our life will be a little more “normal”... hopefully.  And if we waited for the “perfect” time to have a child, we’d be waiting forever.  I’m not getting any younger!!  We also wanted  Kiana and Baby to be close in age.  This pregnancy is one thing in my life right now I feel at peace with and don't have any anxiety over.  Actually, I haven't felt any anxiety about anything since I found out.  I swear pregnancy hormones give you a feeling of euphoria.