Balance

Now that I have a little pregnant belly I’ve found that lately I have had better balance.  I found this to be true when I was pregnant with Kiana too, that I had better balance the bigger my belly got, as if it “grounded” me.  The extra weight could be giving me better stability.

But, since I have developed this recent mental anxiety toward walking (within the past year or so) I’ve noticed that having a small showing pregnant belly gives me a sense of confidence and I don't think of my anxiety, thus improving my walking.  I’m proud of my belly.  I want to show it off. (I felt the same way when pregnant with Kiana.)  I want people to see that yes, I am disabled, and yes, I am pregnant too.  It’s that same feeling of confidence one gets when they get a new haircut or a cute new outfit. That feeling that you’re a new person and could walk confidently through a crowd of people staring at you.  

Maybe soon I’ll be able to ditch my cane.  Today I took it with me but didn't use it at all.  I was just holding it and it never even touched the ground.  It probably looked kind-of silly.

Blood draws

With my cerebral palsy I have extra movements.  This is particularly a problem when having blood drawn.  Blood draws don’t bother me, and when you’re pregnant you get blood drawn often.  My uncontrollable extra movement gets worse when I’m nervous or when I am supposed to be still.  I am fine until they get that needle close to me, then I just start moving which makes it difficult for the person drawing my blood and painful for me.  I can’t help it.  So I have to have a second person gently hold my hand, I have to look away, take deep breaths, and count out loud to get my mind off of trying to be still.  This works for me, but the poor ladies drawing my blood  think I’m going going to pass out, which is not true at all.

Oh, also when pregnant you have to pee in a  cup every single doctor’s visit, something I am not able to do.  I don’t have the stability in my hands to hold a cup of anything without spilling it.  This was embarrassing the first office visit I had while pregnant with Kiana, not only did I have to explain to the nurse why I needed a urine hat, but they didn’t have one, so my sweet husband had to assist me with that one.  After that they had a hat.  And with my current doctor all of the nurses now know I need a urine hat so thankfully I no longer need to ask or explain. 

Making cookies

Yesterday Kiana and I made cookies together.  I was trying to get the eggs out of the refrigerator carefully when Kiana said, "here mama, let me help you. Because it's easier for me."  I was a little wary about letting my 2 year old get the eggs out from a higher shelf, but yes my dear, it is easier for you.  She stood up on the ledge of the fridge, reached up and took one egg out at a time.  Thank you Kiana.  She was so proud of herself for being "so tall" and helping out. 

Week 16

I am 16 weeks pregnant and everything is going smoothly.  Smoothly in terms of, no complications,  and nothing affecting my pregnancy related to my disability (or visa versa).   I have had some discomforts, but just typical pregnancy discomforts, morning sickness and tiredness during the first trimester, and now frequent migraine headaches during the second trimester.  

I wish I had started this blog while I was pregnant with Kiana, but since I didn’t I will try to keep it up to date on how my pregnancy is coming along this time.  So far this pregnancy is very similar, with the exception of my cravings, and I do not think my morning sickness was so constant this time.  I am interested to find out the gender of this baby.  :)